pondering till the break of dawn

i feel really hollow today, not like, a pringles can after i've ate everything, but uncertainty. however on second thoughts after glancing at the time, 2:07AM on a saturday morning, it's probably what happens when i don't go out on a friday night, i'm left to ponder until saturday morning about less important things like life, what bark on a tree is made out of, and what i should wear that's appropriate for church on the coming sunday.

guess the logical thing to do is going to sleep. fyi, i don't think about what i wear to church on a sunday morning *cough*. but on the topic of fashion, not that we were, but now that i have mentioned it, i fail to comprehend how some people treat fashion like they're wiping out third world debts or something (if only). and to quote the great alexander mcqueen, 'it's only fashion, it's not fucking cancer, is it?' okay bed time!

puss puss.

days gone by

it's hard to believe this year is coming to an end, every time i think how fast a year has gone by, i always go back to this rainy day when i was seven years old. because it had rained the whole day, my grandparents wouldn't let me go out and play, and i remember that day clearly as i was sitting on the family room table by the window, looking out and thinking, this rain is never going to stop, and i'm stuck in this frame of time for the rest of my life, help!

minutes after, the rain stopped, and since that moment i have never felt the world slow down. story of my life, pretty cheesy i know... but whatever.

my girl

'aimee, how can — why are you late? one and a half hours late?'
'oh, haha, um, i was, i... i was watching this korean drama...'

i am going to buy a piece of paper

last week, i was watching this really over dramatic taiwanese drama from the nineties where everyone speaks in proverbs and do amazing sword tricks you shouldn't try at home. trust me on that it's from experience. anyway amongst my attempt at learning chinese i understood something and it really stuck out, someone in it mentioned, in a really reflective, philosophical, deep, i-have-a-beard-and-i'm-a-hundred-and-fifty-years-old way: there are two kinds of people in this world, people who create stories, and people who witness them.

i keep thinking about that. that and how i'm never going to be able to pronounce the 'rr' sound in spanish.

i just can't do that tongue thing.

could the world make any more sense

early in the week, my dad was eating lunch with some colleagues at a restaurant. as he sat down, directly opposite on another table sat someone glancing at him — not because the other guy was creepy, but their tables faced each other. my dad thought for a moment, 'that guy looks awfully familiar', but brushes the idea off of knowing him and starts lunch.

as he finishes his food the guy comes up to him, and asks whether he is from insert university where they both did their masters degree, and BAM! my dad replies are you insert name and things began to unravel... they did the same masters degree back in the 80s and the last time they saw each other was in 88. in 92 this guy went to london and my dad in 94 moved to new zealand.

who knew that 20 years later they'd meet again, sitting opposite each other at a restaurant half way across the freaking world! story of their lives much? maybe the world does go around.

be a good listener

much of life is trying to make sense of life. we do that through attempting to express our experiences and then evaluating it to see whether they ring true. we normally need another person to hear our attempt so that we can hear it ourselves. often we don't ask for a problem solver, because we need a listener, one who lets the other friend tell the story, and have the imagination to be with them in it.

world wide web

for some narcissist yet seemingly credible reason i have decided to make a domain for my photography portfolio, it's not very good but all photography is mine. you may not use it without permission. but feel free to email me if you do have any questions in regards to it. it's not really set up properly yet but here is the link:

www.aimeehan.com

2014 edit: do not click on the link! now it's some financial planning thang. hello financial planning lady who share the same name as me, if you ever read this, can i have the website back for my work and portfolio please? i thought my debit card renewed it but obviously that never happened, which is a reflection on my need for financial planning, sure :( but please?

the only boy from bohemia

my baba use to take me kite flying every sunday. this was when i was six and we lived by the sea (it's starting to sound cliche, but we did!). because he'd be busy all week at work, we'd spend sundays together. we'd go to church in the morning, then afterwards he'd take me to the amusement park. there were two opposite each other, and we'd rotate which one depending on the week. one of those days we went into a kite shop newly set up outside. i picked out a kite with the image of a phoenix. from then on we'd fly the kite every sunday afternoon on the roof top of our building.

then i turned seven and moved north to live with my grandparents. the kite broke. and we haven't really flew any kites together since. but everytime i see a kite i remember those times.

something's breaking up

i don't believe i'm recovering too well from this cold. it's probably the accumulation of travelling, tiredness, conrete accomadation, winter, and the red coloured furniture in my room.

i'm trying to find ways of dealing with this. (symptoms for a cold often include: sore throat, blocked nose, constant coughing, constantly sounding like you're breathing your last breath when coughing, and taking forever to answer a question because you are wondering whether at that precise moment you are breathing through one or two nostrils.) what was i saying? oh yeah ways of dealing with a cold.

1) going out into 12 degrees weather wearing a bohemian dress* 2) not taking any medication or drinking water, only hot chocolate loaded with chocolate* 3) thinking you'll get better tomorrow if you just pretend to feel better, some things are just psychological*

*none of these seem to have worked as a way of dealing with a cold, which i think is why i'm still sick.

my intelligence baffles many.

state library

i was just minding my own business drinking miso soup and eating rice paper rolls, when i witnessed these boys trying to feed the pigeons some biscuits. however, causing them dismay was the fact that the biscuits were just too hard for the birds to swallow. but then one of the boys — a smart cookie, this one, gets his water bottle, and pours water over the biscuits so they'd soften! super sweet.

being out of line

yesterday i learnt german from 3 german boys.

lesson one:
'hey i've always wondered, is it, das ist meinen hamburger? or das ist meine hamburger?'
*breaks out in laughter*
'um, it's actually, das ist MEIN hamburger'

lesson two:
'how do you say pardon me?'
'ent-schuldigung, zi bitter'

lesson three:
'no that club is not open yet, ni-hh-t open?'
'ni-ch-t offen'
'okay'
'no say it, ni-schh-t offen'
'ni-sch-t offen'

to sleep in a crowd

some french polynesians played their ukulele and sang on the train today, (i was actually quite cynical before that due to jetlag or some other excuse i convinced myself about), but after hearing them sing and play through the whole train trip—i began to think to my self, what a wonderful world, the colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky... island music is beautiful.

this overwhelming sense of responsibility

after three months of travelling i feel:

fantastic
inspired
pleasant
refreshed—

and not quite ready to go back home.