street lights dot the city like fireflies on a summer lawn. my heart swell as the plane descends. memories run in rivulets through my veins, but soon overwhelm me. i gasp for air as though i have held my breath for years.
for a while, new zealand was all of me.
i remember walking along boulders near the pier every weekend. my knees would tremble at the ocean's tantrums. i saw my life before a salty sea surrounded by pines. i didn't know the future because i thought i was already there.
then we moved, but i held onto those memories, and for years i talked about them with my parents. 'let's return', they know better than i do so we do not. i am a passenger in their life, i go where they do, not where i want to.
passing years accumulate, and i forget about aotearoa. i traverse earth. i forget the first sunrise in the world. i forget lots of things (which resulted in the recommendation of eating more vitamin b and omega three foods).
this place is like no other, i can never collect all the right words to bring it justice. it's the eden of my childhood.